Health

Yes, as a self-conscious person I order a McMuffin when I go to the old golden arches and immediately look down at my belly in shame. Nevertheless, I am undeterred. I make it a point to order combo #3, but ever since I watched one of those damn health documentaries on Netflix I haven’t been able to order it. Not because I’m now on a health bender or because I care about being there for my children when they get older. None of that. What did it was those damn pigs with their damn sad faces and the damn poo poo being sprinkled out into an open field. Grossness to the left of me and grossness to the right. Does that mean that I am cutting off bacon? I wish I could say that I had the fortitude of spirit to do so but I ain’t there yet.

What it means is that I’ve moved on (nay, evolved!) to…combo #1. The picture you see above is the cleaned up, cartoon version of a McMuffin. The real version is, like life, messy and often not what you asked for. Even with all of my best intentions I still end up getting ham wedged in there half the time. You have ask the customer service representative, with strength of conviction: “No ham, please” and make sure there is plenty of eye contact. It’s the only way.

The version above was scanned on my trusty Plustek 1180, drawn on common bond paper with an HB pencil. The cheese was filled in with Crayola golden rod crayon (that’s the name of the colour…fitting, right?) and the heavy black lines were courtesy of my favourite pen ever: Uni-ball “eye” (brought to you by Mitsubishi Pencil Co. Ltd. [really? Mitsubishi? the people that make the cars? Boy, that’s range…see what I did there?]). The brownish parts where the bread gets toasty was done with a generic brown pencil crayon. I was going to MacGyver it and use liquid paper to put in light highlights on the cheese, but the liquid paper dried out. THISCLOSE to being a masterpiece. C’est la vie.

I will leave you with one more insight.

This picture was taken with my cellphone in front of a window. I don’t like altering pictures for the web. I’m willing to crop because I do other things around the edges, but that’s where I draw the line (the crop line). If I’m being totally honest, I would say I like how the cellphone photo turned out but I don’t like the darkness. For my next drawing I’ll use better paper.

Until then, happy penciling!